Hope Out of Despair #3

Close to the heart.....

When bad things happen to things close to the heart, often we find that our dreams, visions and hopes all come crashing down with it.

Maybe its a difficult season, not tragic, just a constant uphill journey... we get tired.

Maybe its tragedy, our life and all we thought seems to go up in smoke around us... where do we look, how do we move on from here?

Maybe its sickness, ill-health, disease, disillusionment, depression, discouragement.....

Maybe we don't even know what it is...

The reality of life is that there are mountains and there are valleys. No one is immune. Every single person faces trials and challenges.

Its what happens in you, in your heart, in your mind and in your world as a result of the things inflicted upon you. Thats what actually matters.

The truth is, as hard as it is, you CAN choose the outcome. You CAN choose if this thing will mean defeat or if you will walk until there's victory.

Im not saying you dont feel the pain in the moment. Im not saying we ignore grief, our emotions, our feelings or at all pretend that things are ok.

I am saying we can't stay there forever.

We must choose to face, and embrace the season of grief, pain or difficulty in order to move from it into a new season. It may take a long time, but as long as you are still walking through it, keep walking.

If you bury it, you will carry it. And unless it is given opportunity to be healed, it will likely destroy you later in life.

Scientifically its being proven more and more that most sickness and disease can be found rooted in some kind of unforgiveness, bitterness, resentment or brokenness that has resonated within a person for a long time. Sometimes so long the person has forgotten its even there.

We have got to learn to let things go, to let oyrselves be healed and made whole again.

We were designed to be connected with other people, people we trust, those who love and care and help to carry us through (or at least hear us out) during all seasons of life. The good, the bad and the just plain ugly.

We were also designed to be connected to our Creator. A loving God who gave everything for us. And when everything falls apart, He is really the only true and completely faithful friend who can be relied on 100% of the time for 100% of our needs.

If we dont look to Him, we will likely be filling the gap with something or someone else who just cant be that to us.

We were designed to live whole. To not carry the weight of the world. To not carry bitterness, unforgiveness, resentment or pain at our lifes circumstances.  We can try really hard to overcome, but I think most often that we cant truly overcome in our own strength.

We need support and we need the help of Jesus.

So if I could speak to your world today I would tell you to seek Him. To ask Him to help. Even if you dont know Him or doubt His existence. Ask Him to show you who He is.

My life is a story of brokenness, repaired and rebuilt by Him. He is worth knowing. He LOVES you more than you can imagine and He has seen everyday of your life.

He is the only one who can truly "save" us or make us completely whole.

Have courage to try again. Don't let go of the things that you "once" dreamed of.

Walk wisely and sensibly, but get up and walk.

Have hope dear friend. There is hope for change. There is hope for the things you have let die.

While there is breath, there is hope for better things ahead.

Jeremiah 29:11-14a NLT

For I know the plans I have for you,” says the lord . “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. In those days when you pray, I will listen. If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me. I will be found by you,” says the lord.

Much love
Arna x

I'm a foodie....

I'm a foodie.  There, I said it.

I love food.  I love choosing it, smelling it, touching it, slicing it, preparing it, baking it, frying it, cooking it, serving it, and most of all, eating it.  I LOVE the eating part.

But to be honest, I'm an addict.  That sounds hilariously funny, because we all need food to survive (obviously), but when you get down to the raw truth, I am addicted to food.  And coffee.

Not all food.  I can't openly proclaim that I am addicted to sprouts or vegetables or fruit or anything disgusting.  But I am definitely addicted to the good stuff.

I totally love preparing food, baking etc.  For others and for myself.  I love it too much.

I often get asked the question... like how do you go from

to

and, even more common - how do you look like

within a few months of having a baby.....  it doesn't really end.

My answer is usually hard work.  Because that's virtually the nuts and bolts of it.

The fact that I get asked nearly everywhere I go, nearly everyday, tells me that there are plenty of people out there who have the same problem as me.  As a society, we seem to classify addicts as people to who take drugs, or who smoke or have these habitual 'bad' problems that affect their health/wealth etc adversely.... well, I'm pretty sure obesity and too much extra weight can have adverse health problems too.

Most people I talk to want to know and seem to think I have some great level of self control.  And sometimes I do.  Most often, I don't.  I have a degree of self control for a season of time that I know will end.  And then my self control runs out.

Addict - to habituate or abandon (oneself) to something compulsively or obsessively.

So, that classifies eating when not hungry... or eating beyond full - as an addiction.  (as well as lots of other things I'm sure).

This has been a struggle for me lately.  When it is cold, raining, and I'm bored and feeling a bit sorry for myself - I eat.  That's how I got so large in the first place.  I ate when I was stressed and feeling emotional - to help me feel better.  So I'm back to square one and if I don't sort it out, it will get out of control.

But here is the raw truth to how I have got to where I am right now.... (where I am being a healthy weight for my height)

1) I admitted that I had a problem.  In fact, I am the problem.

2) I stopped blaming everything and everyone else for my situation.

3) I recognised that to change my life and my future, with God's help, only I could do that.  I could not change it for anyone else, not for my hubby, not for my kids, not for anyone else... for me.

4) I recognised that the problem was 'bigger than me' and that I needed HIS help EVERYDAY.

5) I saw what I was, and I saw that if I continued, I would not be able to run around with my children, to play with them like I wanted to, and that I couldn't give them the future I dreamed of.

6) I recognised the example I was setting for them

7) I decided to do it, and I did it.

I don't necessarily think there is any one way of achieving weight loss.  I have a method, and it works.  I know it would work for anyone, but not everyone can apply the same degree of dedication and restriction that I do in order to achieve results.  But I think, what it truly boils down to, is that when we see and recognise that it is me and my problem, we can actually deal with it if we want to.

I'm not going to look over my shoulder and hope that someone will come knocking on my door with an ounce  (or tonne) of motivation... for any area of my life.  Though accountability works, hence my straight up post.

I had to face huge emotional hurdles to be where I am today.  I had to face up to myself, to issues with other people that I had bottled up and locked away inside me.  To excuses I had to be how I was.  I had to replace my addiction to food with something else for the times when I felt sad/bored/lonely/whatever it may be.

I replaced it by 'being' with Jesus.  You might think I'm a freak.  And frankly, I don't care anymore.  Because I know He is alive and real and He is the only one who has the power to give us victory that lasts forever.

I am honest about life and my struggles.  That is how I am made to be.  That is how He made me to be.

When I 'be' with Him, the problems of life, what people say and do to me, the lonely feelings, the boredom and whatever else - well, it melts away.  It doesn't matter so much when I'm with Him.  And when I leave my 'being with' Him... they still don't matter so much...  I don't live a blissful life where problems are non-existant and I am not so thick skinned that what people say and do just wash off me...  in fact, I feel things incredibly deeply.  But I have learned to take those things to the only one who can wash them off me and make me new again.  And I have learned that by talking about them, and honestly communicating about them, I am made more free and others are given a taste of what can be available.

I am the first to admit - I do not have the victory over food that I want.... Yet.  I want to be at a place that when I am feeling low and bingey or craving, that I don't bake something and eat half of what I made for lunch.... instead of lunch.... or in addition to lunch.  Where I am satisfied by what I eat and I enjoy the extras.  Life is not made to not enjoy food.  I don't think that living a rigid life of plain, boring and healthy food forever and never letting a morsel of goodness pass the lips would work for many people... it certainly wouldn't for me.  I love chocolate, and sugar and all the good stuff.

But I'm in pursuit of a victory that leaves me satisfied.  That suddenly goes, hey, I'm feeling a bit low today - I'll go be with Jesus for a while and then I'll be ok.  

Or, I'll bake for my family, and I will be able to open the fridge or cupboard and not have to eat some of the baking every time.

I once heard someone say that being an overcomer is where in a battle, you win at least 51% of the time.  I think that's a good starting place to aim for.  That's where I'm going to aim.

So, today, instead of hiding from your battle, why don't you choose for yourself that you will 'opt in' to a life of freedom.  See, I want to be free.  I want to live in freedom so badly and not be swayed by all the earthly things.  Living from the perspective of heaven is so much better.

It means that we get just a bit real about life, about our battles and all that stuff.  We get real with ourselves, we get real with others, and most importantly, we get real with Jesus.  (who already knows ALL of your issues anyway).

Take your battle, and try 'being' with Him.  I promise you it will change your life.

xx

I always wanted to dance....

When I was a young girl, I always dreamed and hoped, that one day I could be a ballet dancer, or be good at gymnastics.



I totally love shows like dancing with the stars.  I love the rythmic gymnastics in the Olympic games - I could watch people dance for hours.  Modern dance has lead to hip-hop, and jazz and other genres - and I certainly love watching a good, clean dance piece.

Well, in my recent 'journey' - I realised that not having the opportunity to dance as a little girl - (the finance being one reason, and having an 'unlikely' dance figure being the other) - had actually left a bit of a hole in me.  Quite a big one.

A part of me, in need of redemption - by the Lover of my Soul.

Now I'm a rather out-going person, but to frollick unskillfully and prance around 'dance' where others can see me (apart from husband and child) is TOTALLY out of my comfort zone.



So in this journey of freedom finding - I have discovered something - I can dance like a six year old - in front of my Daddy (Jesus) - and He thinks I'm LOVELY!!!!!  (Even if every other human being thinks I'm nuts.)  And you know what - if I'm dancing for Him - I don't really give a stuff what anyone else thinks.

I have long thought that if the church could just get FREE and dance before our King - maybe we'd do better than the night clubs at reaching people.  We need people who are FREE, (who don't need a dose of liquor in them) - just loving God and loving themselves & each other. 

Young people just LOVE to dance.  Most people just LOVE to dance.

Friday night youth - yes - I danced...

Sunday morning church - yes I danced...with ribbons!  mind you, I had two beautiful, FREE, 6 year olds standing beside me, ribbons in hand, not caring what the 300 or so other people in the room thought.

Was it fun - HECK YES!!!!  Did it make my God smile - HECK YES!!!!  and I couldn't help but laugh when I got a very approving grin from the other side of the room - my Daddy in law.

So God is redeeming this area of my heart - where this unlikely young woman in the eyes of the world - looks at the face of my Creator - and JUST WANTS TO DANCE.

 

I am DANCING - and loving every moment.



Perhaps my next shopping expedition will be looking for tights & a tutu.